Catmint Frenzy (REWRITE)
by kitty-deactivated
Summary: **REWRITE ALERT REWRITE ALERT** The Clans somehow managed to eat all of Jayfeather's catmint! Somehow he can see again! Mostly everyone is completely OOC! I dunno why I'm even writing this! (Flames are welcome)
1. Chapter 1

CHAPTER ONE

**Hello all. This is (I think) the first rewrite I have ever done. Maybe? tell me if I'm wrong. :P This is, in no way, serious, sad, bloody, or anything good. Just humor(?) So…FLAMES ARE WELCOME ):D**

**-KitTea**

Once upon a time…in a magical fairyland-

No, I mean in a world known as 'Warriors', there was a grumpy, rude, _blind _medicine cat named Jayfeather. Now, Jayfeather loved his herbs. He loved them so much that he even _cared for them _and made a little _garden _for them to live in. One day, when he was tending for his precious little herbs, he smelled something strong and minty.

"My StarClan!" He exclaimed. "It's…a sudden mutation of catmint! It's everywhere!" He suddenly wasn't grumpy or anything anymore. The catmint must've turned him OOC or something...

Jayfeather stuffed all the catmint into his mouth (it was a lot; he almost passed out) and ran back to camp. He burst into the camp, surprising everyone. "Hey-"

No one was listening. Squirrelflight was assigning everyone to patrols, Leafpool was putting some weird poultice on Purdy's leg, and Bramblestar was lounging in the sun, chatting with Lionblaze. Dovewing and Bumblestripe were glaring at each other, and Ivypool was trying to get them to 'kiss and make up', as some(?) called it.

Jayfeather cleared his throat. "Hey-"

Some kits ran in front of the medicine cat, chasing each other around and tripping him. "HEY!"

Everything stopped.

Bramblestar sighed and rolled his eyes. "What is it, Jayfeather? And keep your voice down, there are some cats in this Clan that are trying to sleep."

"I found an abnormal amount of catmint!" Leafpool's head shot up.

"_It's a miracle!" _She screeched. "Quick, feed it to everyone!"

Jayfeather blinked, wondering why he was suddenly able to see his clanmates, and why Leafpool was acting strange and seriously out of character. "Huh?"

As Leafpool force fed everyone (including Jayfeather) catmint, no one seemed to realize what was going to happen. Because, for some oddly strange reason, if any cat eats catmint, they get high or something...

Brightheart's eyes widened. She tried to hide her kits. "Don't do drugs, kids." She whispered.

ONE MOON LATER AT THE GATHERING ISLAND WHERE THE CLANS GATHER UNDER SOME TRUCE PROBABLY SET BY THIS PLACE/THING CALLED STARCLAN

Onestar cleared his throat. "So…" He began. "I will begin! My Clan is doing great, the apprentices-"

Bramblestar shoved the WindClan leader out of the way. "ANYWAY," He hissed. "I have an announcement!"

Blackstar curled his lip. "Why you-"

Mistystar looked horrified. "What are you doing, Bramblestar?"

"I said I have an announcement!" He repeated. "I'm changing my Clan's name!" There was a collective gasp. "It's now going to be known as TacoClan!"

Onestar rolled his eyes. "Really? TacoClan?" He shoved Bramblestar out of the way. "I could do better! I'm changing my Clan name to DonutClan!"

Mistystar pushed everyone off the tree. "I'm changing my Clan to ChocolatesauceClan!"

"That's too long!" Someone called out. Mistystar let out a growl of annoyance.

"What about you, Blackstar? Are you going to join our random catmint frenzy?" Bramblestar asked.

"Well…" Blackstar sighed. "I guess." Everyone waited for his answer. "RussetfurisawesomeClan!"

_In a land far, far away, a black cat with green eyes and a white-tipped tail face-pawed. "Are you kidding me, younger myself?" _


	2. Chapter 2

CHAPTER TWO

**Hey, it's me again. X3 Here comes rewrite chapter two…aw hell...**

**-KitTea**

Bramblestar was sleeping peacefully in his den. He had been restless, and for the past week he could not fall asleep! It was probably from the catmint…ANYWAYS, he couldn't fall asleep! But finally, after this long and terrible hardship, he finally got some finally finally sleep finally.

_..what_

But then, something RUDELY interrupted his sleep.

**SMASH**

Bramblestar opened one eye. He growled. "Who dared to awaken me from my hard earned rest?!" He screeched in outrage.

"Calm down!" Squirrelflight grinned. Because even though cats can't grin, she did. WORLD RECORDS YES.

"It's raining tacos!" She cried.

Oh, of course! Because that totally makes sense. Raining tacos on a clear day! Yup! That is so realistic! I can hardly believe my eyes. The Clan was so excited. I mean, even though cats cannot actually eat butter which you use to fry the taco shell...

Anyways, the Clan LO ED it!

lovef

loged

Lovgeyp

...ANYways

For some...strange reason...They made taco castles and taco men...cats...toms...and they made taco everythings! They also ate the tacos and didn't get sick (what a miracle; that catmint is amazing!).

In fact, it was so amazing that Purdy had to tell a story! He gathered everyone around, ruining the PERFECTHAPPYGLITTERRAINBOW mood.

"So what is your story about" Cloudtail asked so blandly, that his words could not even HAVE GRAMMERZ...GRAMMARZ...gram crackers...GRAHAM FRACKERS...MRAGGER...

"It's about the time when I was just a kit..." The elder began swroly.

SlowYL

SloLYY

Sloely

S L OW R LY

...dammit I give up.


End file.
